just this word in this season

The word for this season in my life is dwell.

More than just rest, dwell to me means being fully present in this season. It means reading Scripture, and rereading it 10 times throughout the day. It means listening to a song over and over again to hear what God’s saying to me through it. It means setting alarms for throughout the day to pray again, “God, You are good, use me.”  It means not jumping into every opportunity.  It means being present with Chris. It means long walks in the quiet mornings, right before the sun comes up.

Dwell is hard for me, because it takes less action and more thought. It means resting instead of being in charge. It means pressing into hard lessons, hard situations. It means less action and more thought, more heart work than head work. Dwelling sounds like it isn’t, but it is: hard work.

Dwell is good for me, because it requires my full attention. Dwell reminds me of what I’m really on this earth for: not a title, not working toward perfection. It’s looking for God in every moment, the messy and frustrating and depressing and joyful and passionate ones.

So this is it, nothing fancy or flashy, but just this word in this season: dwell.