What are we doing here? What is our purpose?
We want to matter. We don't want to be remembered for the times we yelled, how well we sang, how fast we ran, the places we've lived.
What matters is affecting others in a positive way. And what truly matters is affecting people with Christ's love, His story, and His Gospel.
And not having a purpose? Well, that just leaves you feeling like you're not important. It puts you into a funk.
I don't think feeling a lack of purpose comes from a lack of opportunity to serve. Lately the opportunities seem endless. There are orphaned children, people sold into slavery, people without homes, people who are depressed, people who need food, people who have no idea who Jesus really is. And my heart goes like a ping pong ball bouncing from one to another to another and to another, never landing on one long enough to feel like I can make a difference.
So what's my purpose?
I've been so frustrated because my passion is obviously for Ghana. But I am not there. I can't go there right now, and not for lack of trying. I want to adopt, but I can't do that right now either. The doors are closed for the moment, and I'm just like, God, what in the world do you want me to do?
A few weeks ago, I was praying the same thing...why do you want me here, right now and what is my purpose here? And as I went to babysit, God reminded me of something the O'Leary's told us last May before we left for Ghana.
The needs are going to seem endless, and it will seem like there's nothing you can do. But you are there to love the one God has put in front of you.
And God said, "Today J's right in front of you, and you're gonna love him by throwing baseball. And tomorrow I will put someone in front of you, and you'll love them in the way I show you, too."
And so right now I feel kinda stupid for wasting time when I should be listening to my wise old Father, and very grateful for the reminder that there is always someone in front of me. Someone to love with God's love for me. Be it my husband, my brother, the kids I hang out with. Be it an orphaned child across the world I just can't get off my mind, or the guy asking for money outside WalMart.
There's a purpose in today, and it is love.